Camden's House - Attic Room
Mary: No... No... No... Because I haven't. Because they're not going to take it well. 'Cause they're not. Soon, I promise. Yes, when you're in the neighborhood. Yes, we're having dinner tonight but... Trust me. It's not a good idea. Because you're not a good idea. I have to go.
Lucy: Please tell me that you've come to your senses and that was Ben.
Mary: I have come to my senses, and that was not Ben.
Lucy: Well who was it?
Mary: None of your business or anyone else's.
Lucy: When are we going to meet Mr. None of Our Business?
Mary: You are not going to meet him.
Lucy: Because?
Mary: Because Mom and Dad wouldn't understand.
Lucy: Because?
Mary: Because they don't think of me as an adult woman with a career. They think of me as Mary.
Lucy: And no need to ask "because" on that one. However, I think of you as an adult woman with a career. I do. Let me meet him.
Mary: Nope.
Lucy: Fine. Just tell me why is he not a good idea?
Camden's House - Kitchen
Kevin: Hi guys. Hi Mom.
Sam: what's up Kevin?
David: Hey man.
Annie: Uh, why don't you just call me Annie until you officially ask Lucy to Mary you?
Kevin: Because I like to sound of Mom, and I am going to ask Lucy to marry me as soon as I think she'll say yes.
Annie: You moved here and changed your whole life for her, and you don't think she'll say yes?
Kevin: Not yet. But she will. By the way, I finally got a permanent partner assigned to me. A rookie. Do you mind if she joins us for dinner tonight? I want Lucy to meet her.
Annie: Her?
Camden's House - Robbie's Room
Simon: You better get over Joy
Robbie: I can't.
Simon: It's a woman. Sorry, I thought he was in his room but he's not. I'll have him call you back. She said, "sure". You get it next time.
Robbie: I'm swearing off women, okay?
Simon: Yeah, right.
Camden's House - Upstairs Hallway
Simon: So, what do you want to do?
Cecilia: I think we should practice making out until we get it right.
Simon: That's fine with me. What... what is your name again?
Cecilia: Cecilia.
Simon: Right.
Camden's House - Living Room
Eric: What's going on?
Ruthie: Nothing.
Eric: Nothing. Great. Um... who is that?
Ruthie: Anyone you want him to be. I'm chimp sitting. You remember Eisenhower from across the street? Well his owner, Curtis, had to go to some meeting because Eisenhower got into a fight with his girlfriend.
Eric: Eisenhower has a girlfriend?
Ruthie: No. Curtis has a girlfriend. And Eisenhower threw banana pudding at her. So now there's this whole big meeting about it. Hey Dad? You mind if my boyfriend comes over tonight?
Camden's House - Kitchen
Mary: I'm not eating at a table set by a monkey.
Eric: Fine with me. Feel free to set you're very own place. You know that's a... a chimp, not a monkey.
Mary: So I offended him?
Eric: You know I want everyone to feel comfortable in my house... even Ben. So an... any chance that Ben might fly in on one of your buddy passes and have dinner with us?
Mary: No.
Eric: What about tomorrow night?
Mary: No.
Eric: The next night?
Mary: No.
Eric: We like Ben. Ben is a nice man. What happened to the nice man, Ben?
Mary: His girlfriend came back from London. That's what happened to the nice man Ben.
Eric: Oh. Why didn't you just tell us that before? Did Ben break up with you for his old girlfriend?
Mary: Oh no, I broke up with him for his old girlfriend. He's too nice to break up with me. I cannot wait to get out of this circus and get back to Buffalo.
Eric: How much longer are you going to work out of Glenoak?
Mary: Two whole lousy weeks.
Eric: I'll get it.
Roxanne: Hi, um is Kevin home?
Eric: Uh he's in the garage. He has the garage apartment.
Roxanne: Thanks. I'm sure I can find him.
Eric: Uh the garage is... it's right over there.
Roxanne: Thanks.
Lucy: Who was that?
Eric: I... I have no idea.
Lucy: Well where did she come from?
Eric: I don't know. She just showed up at the back door.
Lucy: Well uninvited?
Ruthie: I think we both know how this will turn out.
Lucy: W... I want to know who she is.
Eric: Well I'm sure Kevin will introduce you.
Lucy: How can he entertain another woman in the garage apartment my mother built?
Eric: Well it is his apartment. He is paying rent. It's a very nice rent.
Lucy: Well that doesn't entitle him to... to anything.
Eric: Why don't you give the guy a break and let him know he didn't move here for nothing? I think he'd ask you to marry him if he thought you'd do it.
Lucy: But he doesn't think I'd do it, so he went out and find himself another woman?
Eric: Maybe.
Annie: Hi. What's going on?
Eric: A beautiful blonde woman just showed up asking for Kevin.
Lucy: Beautiful? I don't think I'd call her beautiful.
Eric: Gorgeous?
Lucy: I don't think I'd call her gorgeous either.
Eric: What would you call her?
Annie: His new partner. She's having dinner with us.
Lucy: What?
Annie: Kevin asked if he could bring his new partner to dinner. He finally got a permanent assignment, so he knew that you'd want to meet her.
Lucy: Mmm...
Eric: Maybe I should be there.
Annie: Uh... the twins had a really late snack, so they're taking even later... nap. Maybe we should check on them?
Eric: Well how long before dinner's ready?
Annie: Long enough.
Eric: Are you sure this is a good time?
Annie: Oh yeah.
Camden's House - Garage
Lucy: Does Mary know the two of you are using her car?
Simon: Yep.
Lucy: Does she know you're not driving it, you're just using it to make out?
Simon: Nope.
Cecilia: Do you know there's a really hot blonde chick up in Kevin's apartment?
Lucy: She's not hot.
Simon/Cecilia: Yes, she is.
Camden's House - Garage Apartment
Kevin: You won't hurt me. Ha, ha, ha... Wait here, I'll be right back.
Camden's House - Garage
Kevin: Where you going?
Lucy: Where does it look like I'm going?
Kevin: I don't know, but I want you to come back upstairs and meet my new partner. She's really nice.
Lucy: And I suppose you think she's really "hot" too?
Kevin: I guess.
Cecilia: Wrong answer.
Lucy: So, you think she's hot?
Kevin: Is she?
Lucy: You tell me.
Kevin: Okay. She's hot.
Cecilia: He's an idiot.
Simon: Yeah, but only when it comes to Lucy.
Lucy: Did you ask her to be your partner?
Kevin: No, I didn't ask her. She was assigned to me.
Lucy: By?
Kevin: I don't know. But probably by your friend Detective Michaels. He works with the academy. I think he has something to do with the assignments.
Lucy: How did Detective Michaels get involved in our business?
Kevin: It's not "our" business. It's "police" business.
Lucy: Yeah well, if you love me your business is my business.
Simon: I think she's going to make a phone call.
Kevin: Who's she going to call, Detective Michaels?
Simon: Yeah, she would call Detective Michaels. Take my work for it. You might want to stop her.
Cecilia: Where were we?
Camden's House - Eric and Annie's Room
Annie: Would you stop worrying? Sam and David have at least another 20 minutes in there.
Eric: But what... what about dinner?
Annie: Well... if the pot roast goes up in flames then we can just send everyone out for pizza and... then we'll have the place to ourselves.
Eric: I... I... I... don't know what's gotten into you. Not that I don't like it... but uh...
Annie: Oh, I dropped my HRT therapy. Suddenly I'm alive again.
Eric: Ah... yes. Well... remember I have a weak heart. Okay let... let's not kill me.
Annie: Well I can't promise anything.
Eric: Okay, okay... could I get a rain check?
Annie: what?
Eric: It's not you, it's me.
Annie: I'm... I'm getting the it's not you, it's me speech? You're not breaking up with me are you?
Eric: Of course not.
Annie: I was just kidding. Are you okay?
Eric: I'm fine. I'm just... distracted. Do our children have normal relationships with other people? And chimpanzees?
Annie: Oh... You worry too much.
Camden's House - Kitchen
Kevin: How can you be jealous of any other woman when you know how I feel about you?
Lucy: Jealous? You think I'm jealous? Hey, just because you love me and want to marry me, doesn't mean you can't be attracted to another woman.
Kevin: Allright.
Lucy: Allright?
Kevin: Thanks.
Lucy: Thanks? What is wrong with you?
Robbie: How's it going?
Kevin: I brought my partner over for Lucy to meet and it didn't go very well.
Robbie: I didn't really want to know. I was just saying how's it going.
Camden's House - Back Porch
Robbie: Roxanne?
Roxanne: Robbie?
Robbie: Ha, ha, ha, ha... You look the same as you did in 7th grade. Except... well you look even better.
Roxanne: You look the same, but... even better too.
Robbie: You used to be the good girl.
Roxanne: You used to be the bad boy.
Robbie: You know I think I spent the entire 7th grade thinking about making out with you.
Roxanne: Really?
Robbie: Yeah, really.
Camden's House - Kitchen - Attic Room
Kevin: Who are you calling? Because you can't call Detective Michaels and embarrass me. I'm still new in the department. I'm a transfer. I'm not one of the guys yet. I'll tell you what. When I'm one of the guys and everyone knows me really well... then you can call down to the station and embarrass me. I promise. Please, just talk to Roxanne. Get to know her.
Ruthie: I'm waiting for a real phone call. One that comes from outside the house. Could you two settle this in the same room? Why don't you just marry him and get it over with?
Lucy: Maybe I don't want to get married.
Ruthie: You can't just lock him in the garage where you can keep an eye on him the rest of your life. Kevin's going to be with this woman all day, every day. She's already got a bad impression. Do you want to make it worse? She's going to be talking to him about you, and he's going to be talking to her about you.
Camden's House - Kitchen
Kevin: He's not even interested in her, you know.
Mary: Who?
Kevin: Ben. He's not interested in his old girlfriend.
Mary: It doesn't matter. She's interested in him.
Kevin: It does matter. His old girlfriend may have wanted to move back to Buffalo for Ben, but that doesn't mean that Ben wants his old girlfriend to move back to Buffalo.
Mary: But, the fact is she did. And ever since she did, she's either been bumping into him or calling him. And Ben is enjoying every single minute of it.
Kevin: But that's because he got dumped by this woman and now he has somebody else. You.
Mary: No, he does not have me. And I do not want to be used to make Ben's girlfriend jealous. Because the only reason he wants to make her jealous is because he wants her back. So, I have officially moved on.
Kevin: Ben loves you.
Mary: No, he never loved me. He never got over his old girlfriend. And he's never going to get over his old girlfriend until the two of them date again. So you know what? I'm dating too.
Kevin: Who are you dating? We all know you're dating someone. And my guess is it's someone you shouldn't be dating. Right?
Mary: Stop being a cop.
Kevin: I was just being a brother. As Ben's brother I'm interested in who you're going out with. Because I'm sure Ben's interested in who you're going out with.
Mary: Which is why you're not going to meet who I'm going out with.
Kevin: Because you're hiding something.
Lucy: I'm sorry I was rude to...
Kevin: Roxanne.
Lucy: I'm going to apologize to her and invite her inside where I can find out more about her and more about you.
Kevin: What does that mean?
Lucy: I've seen cop shows. I know who these partnerships work.
Kevin: I'm sure there's a logical explanation.
Lucy: Yeah, and I have on. Roxanne...
Camden's House - Foyer
Mary: Captain Smith, um... what are you... uh... What are you doing here?
Capt. Smith: Hey, you said if I was ever in the neighborhood and needed a good home cooked mean just to drop on by. So I did.
Mary: Did I say that?
Annie: Well please come in. Any friend of Mary's is a friend of ours.
Capt. Smith: Oh Reverend, Mrs. Camden... Jack Smith. Nice to meet you.
Annie: We're just about to have dinner. Do you like pot roast?
Capt. Smith: I love pot roast.
Annie: Good.
Camden's House - Living Room
Capt. Smith: So Kevin, how long have you been on the force?
Kevin: I went to community college for two years for background training, then I started at the academy at twenty and I just transferred here from buffalo, New York to be with Lucy.
Lucy: Five years.
Capt. Smith: Thanks. I was having trouble adding that up.
Lucy: What's going on?
Robbie: Oh we thought we'd uh... go out for a movie.
Annie: Well maybe Kevin and Lucy should go along with you, so you can all get to know each other better.
Kevin: You're right Mom. Why don't we all go out together?
Annie: Hm..
Robbie: Mom?
Kevin: It was nice meeting you sir. By the way, you never said how you and Mary know each other.
Capt. Smith: Well I'm sorry. I thought it was obvious. We both work for the airlines.
Kevin: And?
Capt. Smith: And that's how know each other, officer.
Lucy: It was nice meeting you.
Robbie: Yeah it was uh... interesting.
Roxanne: Hope to see you again sometime. Bye, bye.
Capt. Smith: It's okay. Mary told me she used to date Kevin's brother. I guess he's just uh... curious.
Eric: Funny you should say that.
Ruthie: We cleared off the table. My boyfriend is coming over now, if that's okay.
Eric: Oh I forgot to discuss this uh little friend of Ruthie's with you.
Ruthie: Little friend? Eisenhower is a little friend.
Annie: Ruthie's boyfriend's name is Jake Davis.
Eric: Friend. Friend's name.
Ruthie: Lucy had a boyfriend at 12.
Annie: No, it was 13.
Ruthie: Still, I'm a lot more mature at 12 than Lucy was at 13. In fact, I'm more mature at 12 than Lucy is now. So, why can't I have a boyfriend?
Annie: We'll see. But for now, you know why don't you just call Jake your friend, if you want him to come over and you don't want your father sitting with you in the living room all night.
Eric: I'll sit in my living room all night if I feel like sitting in my living room all night. I'm sorry about all this. Do you have daughters?
Capt. Smith: Two. One in college, one in high school. My wife and I married very young.
Annie: You're married?
Capt. Smith: I'm widowed. My wife died quite a few years ago.
Eric: I... I'm sorry to hear that.
Annie: So am I.
Camden's House - Sam and David's Room
Simon: Should we be going soon?
Cecilia: I'd kind of like to stay around. I want to know if Mary's really dating him.
Simon: Dating? She's not dating him. Where'd you get an idea like that?
Cecilia: Women do date older men. It happens all the time.
Simon: But he's way too old for Mary. And... and he's a... a nice man. A nice man who knows he's too old for Mary.
Sam: Nice man, no good.
David: Nice man, no good. I like Ben.
Sam: I like Ben.
Ruthie: Can you watch him while I change? I smell like a chimp. No offense.
Simon: Is that guy downstairs Mary's friend, or Mary's date?
Ruthie: Uh ha. Wow. How'd I miss that?
Simon: Could it be that you've become so interested in boys you're slipping?
Street - Car
Roxanne: What's going on?
Kevin: I'm just suspicious about that pilot.
Lucy: Kevin, the movie starts in 5 minutes.
Kevin: We can see the movie anytime.
Lucy: I hope this is important.
Kevin: It's important.
Roxanne: What do you think the story is?
Lucy: If you tell her, you have to tell the rest of us.
Roxanne: Maybe it's confidential.
Lucy: Maybe it's not. Is it confidential?
Roxanne: If it's police work, it's confidential.
Robbie: Could you two just stop it?
Lucy/Roxanne: Stop what?
Kevin: No offense, but I don't think this is any of your business.
Robbie: I think it involves me more than you.
Kevin: How's that?
Robbie: Roxanne and I are on a date, and your girlfriend or... or fiancee' or whatever she is... is so jealous she's embarrassing herself.
Lucy: Oh, is that right?
Roxanne: Yep. I have to agree with him.
Lucy: Roxanne, you're single right?
Roxanne: Do I need a lawyer present for this?
Lucy: So being single, you got yourself partnered with the best looking single guy on the force. Yeah, I find that a little suspicious. You, went to Detective Michaels and asked him to put you with Kevin. Didn't you?
Roxanne: Yes I did! 'Cause he's a nice guy and a good cop.
Lucy: And he's single.
Roxanne: Okay and he's single. Oh and... and he's not... he's not just good looking... he's the best looking guy on the entire force. So I've confessed. What are you going to do about it?
Kevin: Okay you two, stop it.
Robbie: I said that 5 minutes ago.
Roxanne: So Lucy are you jealous because I'm Kevin's partner or because I'm on a date with your old boyfriend?
Kevin: What old boyfriend?
Robbie: Lucy and I went out a couple times. Didn't he know?
Lucy: I never mentioned that? In all this time... I never mentioned that?
Roxanne: So if we're waiting here just to tail Mary and that old geezer, my bet is they're not even gonna get out of the Camden house together.
Lucy: What are you talking about?
Kevin: As Ben's brother, I think I owe it to him what Mary and her date are up to.
Lucy: Date?
Kevin: By the way did Ben know that you and Robbie were together at one time?
Robbie: We were never together. We went out a couple times. We were both on the rebound...
Lucy: Excuse me. I think it was a little more than that. What... what date? What are you talking about?
Robbie: He's talking about Mary and Captain Smith.
Kevin: Did Ben know?
Lucy: Okay! Could we just forget about me and Robbie for a second?
Kevin: I don't think so.
Roxanne: I'm sorry. I... I didn't know he didn't know.
Lucy: You think my sister is actually dating that guy?
Kevin: Yeah, I think that. And when I confirmed it, I was going to tell Ben. But hey, if my brother doesn't want to share information, then why should I?
Camden's House - Attic Room
Ruthie: What are you doing?
Mary: I'm just getting ready to take Jack... um Captain Smith, my friend to the airport. He has a late flight tonight.
Ruthie: That's a pretty nice dress just to drive a friend to the airport. I'm surprised they let him fly on the later flights. I mean, older people usually go to be pretty early, don't they?
Mary: He's not old.
Ruthie: He's practically as old as Dad. He's older?
Mary: I don't know. But I do know he's a very nice, very smart, very successful man.
Ruthie: I agree. He's nice and smart and successful and... Come on. How old is he?
Mary: I told you I don't know, and I don't care.
Ruthie: He's your friend and you don't know how old he is.
Mary: I know okay. But no one else needs to know.
Ruthie: Are you two are just friends.
Mary: Yes, we're friends.
Ruthie: No, I asked you if you were just friends.
Mary: We're friends.
Ruthie: The kind of friends who date?
Mary: Who wants to know?
Ruthie: I'd say everyone in the family, plus anyone who sees the two of you out together, plus Kevin... probably Roxanne and Cecilia... oh yeah, and Ben. He'd probably want to know too.
Mary: Well it's really no one's business, especially Ben's.
Ruthie: You can't seriously be dating a guy that old.
Mary: I didn't say how old he is and I didn't say we were dating. All I said was we were friends.
Ruthie: Would you go out with him if he asked you out on a date? I asked because it looks like you're going out on a date.
Mary: You want me to put some lipstick on you? Maybe some gloss, so you look really, really pretty for your boyfriend?
Ruthie: Would that be the same gloss you're wearing for your boyfriend?
Camden's House - Living Room - Foyer
Eric: If... if... if you ever feel a need to uh talk about your wife, please feel free to drop by my office. I... I'm sure it's been a very difficult time for you.
Annie: And... and please, you know um... we're happy to have any of Mary's work friends here at the house, anytime. And I might even have a couple of nice women for you. You know I mean when you're ready to go back and start dating again.
Captain Smith: Mary told me how wonderful both of you are. And I really appreciate the offers. But just so you know, I did get some grief counseling. It was very helpful to me, when I was grieving. And it has been several years since my wife died, so I've kind of gotten back into dating again and... Oh, ready to go, hon?
Mary: Yes. Um... I'm just going to drop Captain Smith at the airport and I'll be back late. Good night.
Captain Smith: Good night. Thanks for everything.
Eric: Hon?
Jake: Hi. Is Ruthie home?
Eric: My feeling exactly.
Camden's House - Living Room
Jake: Is he sick or something?
Ruthie: My sister Mary is dating a man as old as he is.
Jake: Wow. Cool.
Annie: Eric, uh could I get your help with something in the kitchen?
Ruthie: You're doing great. So far we've managed to avoid all conversation.
Jake: That's been easy. Your dad hasn't said anything.
Ruthie: He will. And remember, yes and no answers, and no explanations that would draw him in.
Jake: Okay. I hope it works.
Ruthie: It's working already. Believe me, he's going to be right back in here. Put your arm around me.
Camden's House - Kitchen
Annie: Don't worry so much. How many boyfriends have we seen come and go? It's nothing serious. You can't let every little thing get to you.
Eric: The man's as old as I am.
Annie: Oh he's 12.
Eric: Not that one, the other one.
Annie: Captain Smith's just a friend.
Eric: He called her "hon".
Annie: That doesn't necessarily mean anything. I mean they do work together.
Eric: Are you that naïve?
Annie: Okay, even if they are dating, you know sooner or later Ben's gonna show up and... and convince her he's still in love with her. And you will have spent all this time worrying for nothing.
Eric: I doubt it. Did you need help with something?
Annie: Yeah you can give the boys their juice and then... read them a bedtime story with me.
Eric: Fine, but it's going to be quick one 'cause I'm not leaving Romeo and Juliet alone in the living room all night.
Annie: Had you rather be with Lucy and her boyfriend and that chimpanzee than with me? Allright if that's what you want... just you know go back in the living room and embarrass yourself.
Camden's House - Living Room
Eric: Hey! But that out!
Ruthie: Oh Dad, we didn't see you.
Eric: Yes you did. You saw me coming and then... What's going on here?
Ruthie: You better go home.
Eric: I'll drive you.
Jake: Oh, that's okay. My sister's been sitting outside all this time, just hoping to get a glimpse of Simon. Good night.
Ruthie: Twelve is an awkward age. I'm too old for dolls and too young for boys.
Eric: But... I thought you wanted Jake to be your boyfriend.
Ruthie: You saw how weird that was. And I just don't think I'm ready. I don't think he's ready. I just think what I need is... a pet.
Eric: But you have a pet. You have Happy.
Ruthie: That's Simon's dog.
Eric: No, Happy's... you know everybody's dog. You want a dog? Wh... a cat? A chimpanzee? You want to keep Eisenhower?
Ruthie: That would be better than my having a boyfriend at my age. Don't you think?
Eric: Are you insane? I'm sorry, I said that out loud. What?
Ruthie: Eisenhower is part of a study. And the people doing the study think that Eisenhower is getting too old and too attached to Curtis, and too protective.
Eric: Oh.
Ruthie: They think that tossing banana pudding at Curtis' girlfriend is an aggressive act. And they want to send Eisenhower back to the lab, unless Curtis can come up with another solution. Well, I'm the solution. I can take care of him. And... I promise. And I won't even have time for boyfriends. Please, please, please.
Eric: We can't keep him Ruthie. We can't have a chimpanzee in the house. This place is a circus already. Besides, I don't think we'd be allowed to take Eisenhower. I... I'm not sure the people who control the study would let us.
Ruthie: I'm overwhelmed by your enthusiasm and encouragement. Maybe Eisenhower and I should just go upstairs and say a little prayer. Maybe God will be more optimistic.
Eric: Not the eye roll. She's too young for the eye roll.
Annie: Well the boys are asleep, and I just saw Ruthie heading up to bed.
Eric: Ruthie just gave me the eye roll. I thought we had at least another year before that.
Annie: Well girls are hitting puberty early these days, and there's really nothing we can do about it. Are you coming upstairs?
Eric: Not yet. There maybe nothing I can do about Ruthie, but...
Annie: But what?
Eric: I'll be up in a minute.
Annie: Fine. But during that minute, you really should think about whatever it is you're thinking about doing, and don't do it.
Eric: Forgive me, for I know just what I do.
Promenade
Lucy: I honestly thought you knew. I did. I thought everyone knew. I don't see what difference it makes. So I went out with Robbie once or twice. So what? What's the big deal? Okay, it was more than once or twice. But it was only for a few weeks. Maybe we went out a dozen times. But it was only a month at the most.
Kevin: Did you kiss him?
Lucy: Did I kiss him? Did I kiss Robbie?
Kevin: I'm taking a walk.
Robbie: What are you doing?
Lucy: What am I doing? Kevin and Roxanne... they just... they...
Robbie: They didn't do anything. He brought her over to the house to introduce her to you the very day he got the assignment, because he didn't want you to be jealous of her.
Lucy: Well I wouldn't be jealous of her if I didn't have a reason to be jealous of her. She wants Kevin!
Robbie: Maybe, but... the real question is, do you want him? He's up to something.
Lucy: Like?
Robbie: I don't know. Sex maybe.
Lucy: You better have a talk with him.
Robbie: Why don't you get uh Kevin to have a talk with him?
Lucy: Why Kevin?
Robbie: Kevin's the new man, isn't he?
Lucy: What?
Robbie: Well that's what he thinks, that he's the oldest and smartest.
Lucy: I don't think Kevin's interested in being anyone's big brother. I think he's only interested in being my husband.
Robbie: Either way, he still gets to call your mother, "Mom".
Lucy: Wait a minute. You're jealous of Kevin?
Big Guy: Hey! Are you making out with my girlfriend?
Cecilia: If I'm your girlfriend, then why were you making out with another girl right here, just last night? Oh wait. Not just last night, the night before, and the night before that.
Big Guy: Look, could we talk?
Cecilia: I don't know. I'm on a date.
Simon: Please, I don't want to get in the middle here. Why don't you work it out and if you can't, then I hope you'll call me, Cecilia.
Lucy: Ain't love grand.
Pool Hall
Captain Smith: So you've been playing all your life, huh?
Mary: Yeah, it's just my game's a little off because...
Captain Smith: Because I remind you or your dad?
Mary: No. No... you don't remind me of my dad.
Captain Smith: But I am nearly as old as your dad. Which is why I left it up to you to call me if you wanted to go out with me.
Mary: And I do want to go out with you. And... and I've enjoyed going out with you the past couple weeks. But I didn't call you tonight and you just showed up and now I have to explain things to my parents that I didn't want to explain.
Captain Smith: You were never going to invite me over. And I'm never going to feel comfortable going out with you unless I know your parents are comfortable. It's just the kind of guy I am. I don't want to sneak around.
Mary: You're right. It's best to... get it all out in the open if we're going to continue going out with each other.
Kevin: But what about Ben?
Captain Smith: Why don't I just wait over at the bar with your friend?
Mary: Would you stay out of this?
Kevin: I intended to stay out of this and then I saw you two talking and I couldn't stay out of it. Has anyone mentioned that that guy's your father's age? What's a guy in his forties going out with a woman in her twenties for... other than the obvious?
Mary: He's going out with me for the same reason any man goes out with any woman. He likes me. He's interested in me.
Kevin: Are you really that naïve?
Mary: Stop acting like we're doing something wrong, because we're not. Captain Smith is... is a very smart man. He's... he's very responsible. He's... he's a nice man. He's... he's...
Kevin: A pervert? Listen to me. If you're just going out with that loser so I'll tell Ben, forget it. I'm not going to tell him anything. And you shouldn't either. Because I think it'd just creep him out. But call him. He wants to hear from you. And get rid of this loser.
Camden's House - Kitchen / Ben's House
Eric: He's my age. My age, I'm telling you. She's just doing this to get to you.
Ben: I don't get it.
Eric: She's angry with you for going back with your old girlfriend.
Ben: Well so she's dating some guy as old as you? How's that getting back at me for seeing my old girlfriend? My girlfriend's gorgeous and... she's my age.
Eric: So, you are seeing her?
Ben: I wasn't. But I am now. And... and you can tell Mary that. Tell her I've decided to go back with my old girlfriend.
Camden's House - Foyer
Curtis: I'm sorry I'm so late.
Eric: I heard about Eisenhower's predicament, and I'm sorry I can't help you out. I mean I'd love to take him, but...
Curtis: That's okay. I... I didn't really expect you to. I uh... got a little help solving Eisenhower's problem from the research department.
Eric: So Ruthie it looks as if Eisenhower isn't going anywhere after all. And my guess is he's also going to be uh... happier at home.
Curtis: Let's hope so. Oh, here you go Ruthie.
Ruthie: Twenty dollars? That's a lot of money for something I'd do for free.
Eric: Then...?
Ruthie: Oh. Right. It was my pleasure.
Curtis: No, you earned it.
Ruthie: Maybe, but if you'd rather take it back, donate it toward the animal fund of your choice, that'd be great.
Curtis: Thanks Ruthie. Thank you.
Eric: Other kids may be awkward at twelve, but you, you're... something special.
Ruthie: Thanks. And you know what I've been thinking? Maybe I'm not too young for a boyfriend after all. I kind of liked that guy.
Camden's House - Back Porch
Robbie: By the way, how much did you charge her?
Simon: I didn't charge her anything. She offered to pay me.
Robbie: How much did she pay you?
Simon: Forty dollars.
Robbie: Wow. Forty bucks just to make out with a woman and make her boyfriend jealous?
Simon: Well don't forget there was some danger involved. That guy could have hit me.
Robbie: You're right. And even more dangerous, what are your mom and dad going to think if they hear you got money for taking a girl out?
Simon: You get to be more and more like a big brother every day.
Robbie: Thanks. So, you'll take my advice and not do this again?
Simon: I can't promise that.
Robbie: Well I can't promise I won't say anything.
Simon: Wow. That was almost Matt-like.
Camden's House - Kitchen
Eric: Good night.
Simon/Robbie: Good night.
Camden's House - Hallway
Robbie: I think your dad is up to something.
Annie: What's he up to? Well?
Simon: He's holding the phone.
Annie: Ben, I imagine.
Simon: Probably. Good night, Mom. Love you.
Annie: Love you too.
Robbie: Good night. Love you!
Annie: Love you too.
Camden's House - Back Porch
Roxanne: It was a pleasure meeting you Lucy. And I'm sorry we got off to such a rocky start.
Lucy: Me too.
Roxanne: Well maybe I'll give Robbie a call and the four of us can go out for real next time? Great. Good night.
Lucy: Good night. I still think she's a...
Kevin: I love you.
Lucy: I love you too.
Kevin: It would be nice if I felt you were ready to make a commitment.
Lucy: It would be nice if I thought you were willing to take a chance that someday I will make a commitment. But not now, not until I'm really, really ready.
Kevin: Good night.
Lucy: Good night.
Camden's House - Kitchen
Eric: Why is that some nights you all come in the front door and other nights you all come in the back door?
Lucy: Well the nights that the garbage cans are blocking the street, we park in the driveway and come in back here. On other nights, we park on the street.
Eric: Oh.
Lucy: Who are you calling?
Eric: No one.
Lucy: Good night.
Eric: Well, that was a long drive to the airport.
Mary: Say what you want to say, okay.
Eric: Okay. He's too old for you. Way too old for you.
Mary: I am an adult. I have a job. I pay my bills. I'm responsible around here, and I'm responsible when I'm not around here and I'm in Buffalo. So I think that who I go out with should be left up to me. You are my dad, and I love you. But I'm over 21 now, and... and I think that I have to decide who I want to be with for the rest of my life.
Eric: Rest of your life? Hello?
Ben's House
Ben: Did you just call me? I star sixty-nined you.
Eric: It's for you. Good night.
Mary: Hello.
Fait par moran50
